Posts tagged: here comes the hate mail
There is a lot of butthurt (pun intended) going around about the use of the term ‘pegging’ to describe strap-on sex between a man and woman.
I saw this comment, posted anonymously, in response to criticism of the use of the term pegging in a forum online and had to share.
»Stop saying the word “car” that pisses me off. There are already two other perfectly good words for that thing, you can call it a vehicle or an automobile. Stop using the word “car” though, it just makes you look stupid when there are already two other words that mean the same thing, just call it what it is.
That is you. You sound like a fucking idiot. An incredibly butthurt idiot.
Mucho kudos, Anon.
FOR THE RECORD: My position on the term is - GET OVER IT. People think ‘pegging’ is the ‘no homo’ of sex terms; That it’s there to shield those whose entire sense of self worth would collapse if they thought for even a moment that they were in any way ‘flexible’. They see it as reenforcing the stereotype that “anal on a male = gay = bad”.
People like to name sex acts. It’s cute. It’s funny. And even more importantly, it’s SPECIFIC. So, if you want to have a discussion about strap-on sex between men and women without having to reference their sex AND gender AND THEN explain how the strap-on is used, and by whom, you just say ‘pegging’ instead and everyone who knows the term’s definition instantly has a frame of reference for the conversation.
Not everything is about the patriarchal agenda. Sometimes a cigar is just a big, purple, silicone dildo, covered in lube, and mounted in a leather harness with straps and buckles…OH MY!
Are you from 1955? Do you have such a narrow view of people, sexuality and gender roles?
Do women really like this?
I’m not a woman but I have a ton of female followers and I can safely say, without controversy, that YES, THEY DO. All women? No. But, broad statements about what all women want rarely pan out to be true. Which brings me to…
Women want strong men to be their protectors
That assumes you know what all, or most women want. It also assumes that pegging somehow negates that.
Doesn’t it make our wives feel a little insecure?
Since you wrote ‘wives’, I’ll address the question from that perspective. Aren’t marriages supposed to be based on trust, communication, understanding and love? We all have our insecurities, but why would anyone be insecure for or about another person? A woman, secure in herself, her marriage and her love for her mate, wouldn’t feel insecure about pegging, I don’t believe. A man, secure in himself and his place in the world or his marriage/relationship wouldn’t need to ask that question either.
bending over and taking it like a women, isn’t that in some way a little unnerving?
Yes, almost certainly, that would be unnerving for some people. I strongly suggest you modify that approach to fit your own needs. For example: Try bending over and taking it like a man.
Your comments come from an older set of sensibilities that are falling by the wayside. The concept of the “New Alpha Male” pisses off a lot of people who think like that, because they see it as the feminization of men. Along with the new wave geeks and nerds winning over the jocks, (..which has happened, look around; We won.) comes a new definition of “Alpha” that does not include the older ideas of dominance and suppression. The “New Alpha” is about embracing yourself and the world around you without trying to force it, OR YOURSELF, to conform to a set of ‘norms’. It’s about having confidence, honesty/integrity, tolerance/flexibility, humility and the skills to communicate with others without trying to drown them out. This definition can apply to men and women and none of it has anything to do with pegging that I can tell.
Sorry if this came off as a little harsh, but I’m not just addressing you, Anon, with these comments. I’m addressing a lot of people. Also, I know that there are tons of people who do not agree. If you want to have a conversation about it, fine, drop a line. If you want to shout angrily about it, then you have an equal opportunity on your tumblr. Rant away.
There is one question that I can’t answer very well without recalling things said or written to me, by women and that wouldn’t do their perspective justice.
What’s in it for them?
That’s an easy question to get an answer to though; All you have to do is ask them.